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suicidalcrybaby

Maybe it's a cruel joke on me.

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Just because people do good things does not mean they are good people and just because people do bad things does not mean they are bad people. Don’t judge people based on good or bad deeds, people can be all kinds of surprising and first impressions are almost always wrong.

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When I first met you we were suppose to be friends.
Who would of thought that I would love you in the end?
We talked and talked for months.
Got to know each other in a way that no one would.
I didn’t want to give you my heart I was so scared that,
You would tear it apart, but then gradually let you commit the perfect crime.
Cause you stole my heart with no intentions of giving it back.
Now is the time for us to grow old together that is what you say.
But I just cannot wait for that special day.
Everytime that I’m with you I still get butterflies after all these months.
You are so cute the way you smile.
Your eyes looking into mine makes me want to kiss you every time.
The way that you hold me at night makes me feel like I am floating in the air.
It all just feels so right to be next to you every single second of the day.
Your love lights up my life and when I am down it lights up the stairs in the night.
I promise to love you in every way that I can and to be by your side every way.
You just make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have you as a boyfriend and my best friend.
From now until forever I will always love you.


SEVEN months with the loml.

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Darkness is as comforting as light.

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I feel like I am feeling apart, and no one seems to care.

I feel so weak and fragile that it will only take one tear
to rip me into two and not even give me a toss.

Right now I’m fighting with depression and I have sadly lost

I feel like there isn’t a point so what more is there to do
than just give up in general, I don’t think I can get through.

I feel like I’m the broken one
who no one wants to mend
and just one pull can mean that all this suffering can end.

So i’m not about to feel anymore because my death is almost there.

I was always the ugly duckling
never to be a swan.

I was always out of place.

You don’t ever need to apologize for being unable to find strength in weakness and you never need to feel sorry for breaking down on a good day; even after all these storms, the rain never apologized for pouring.

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I wish I felt less empty.

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His existence is the air I breathe,
and his love is my tears.

His touch is stuck in my mind,
while his laughter lingers my skin.

Our memories together become an aftertaste in my mouth
and when we’re apart,

we’re both incomplete.


Is it ever possible to love somebody so much that you are so overwhelmed of the fact that they love you back and that they will always be there for you and simply, without any hesitation do anything and everything for you? Like their whole existence is unbelievable and so out of this world that you can’t accept the aspect that one person or their undying love for you is real?

look at you;
the perfect arrangement of atoms,
wandering around this vast universe
without knowing a thing.
we’re all just specks of dust
living in an abandoned house
waiting for a gust of wind to sweep us away.
you want to escape,
to see how big the world is,
but the world is a speck of dust too,
just waiting for that same gust.

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You destroyed me and I apologized.

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